The story no one would read

My days in College

It is in this context that I met him. He was an attractive guy, and though I was shy, I felt attracted to him. I reached out to him for support and spoke about my situation. I opened up my heart to him.  I visited his place, (he had invited my friends to his place sometimes).

Once, while in first year of College, he had offered me a lift on his bike, to drop me to the  hostel. At that time, I politely refused, as I enjoyed walking and was not in an urgency.
When he spoke, I couldn't take my eyes off him. I don't think he noticed me or think of me in the same way as I did. Moreover, he was from a rich family, quite fluent in English and talked with an accent.

After the classes were over, I saw his name in the placement list. I was happy for him. I remember I would search of silly reasons to meet him.

I did not come to know as to when I started liking him as a friend. I went to meet him just after exams were over, and before leaving for home. It was so difficult to think that I would never be able to meet him again, and would go on our own paths. 

Back home after Engineering exams

Back in Siliguri, after giving the exams, I came back to my parent's home.  I couldn’t confide about my love (fascination) to anybody. Somewhere a mirror had broken, without a sound being uttered.

Somewhere my heart was broken, and I felt miserable, I had no reason to feel happy. Nothing cheered me up for years to come. Somewhere, the world seemed to be a congested, dreadful, place.
My heart bled but no one knew about it. I did not complain to anyone, as nothing adverse had happened apparently. 

I couldn't have narrated about my love, anyway to my parents. It was out of question. It was a situation no-one would be prepared for. What if that incident had put me in a worse situation. I was thoroughly disappointed with my life.

But later on, as time passed by, somewhere I did accept my situation, I worked towards my career,.
It was quite hard to forget  but I was proud that I lived to my father's expectations. At least I didn't do anything, which would let down my family's pride. I will still aim to not do anything that is against the interests of my family, or due to which my parents might be put to shame.

I worked upon getting a job in Delhi, where my father was posted at that time, and joined as faculty teaching Physics to students of class 10 and 11. Thereafter, I took admission in a Computer institue, and then later as a Associate in a Publishing firm, Innodata. Since then, I have been in the Technical Writing profession.

When I met my husband, my soulmate

As this blog is titled, the story of my life, it would be incomplete without the mention of my better half and my husband. My husband was a doctor from the medical field, an anesthesia specialist serving in a reputed hospital in Delhi. He was aspiring to complete his post graduation (DNB).

We met through one of the online matrimonial sites and it was not love at first sight, but  we were both searching for a suitable partner. We met a few times before our marriage was fixed.


My parents were searching for a suitable partner for me and so were his. We were both vegetarian, almost same caste, though our religion was different. I loved everything about doctors. It was an advantage that we were in the same city, and I could meet my parents even after marriage.


Why I was impressed by him


There had been a suitor who had been a manager in IT professional, a very down to earth person, but he was non-veg. I had made up my mind only to marry a person who would be vegetarian.
It was not that I had not tasted non-vegetarian food.

In my childhood, I remember that my father, who had been serving in the army, as a civil engineer, had tried to persuade us to eat non-vegetarian food.

Once or twice, we had tasted fish and as kids, we sometimes had boiled or poached eggs for breakfast in winter days. It was only in winters that my parents would bring eggs for us.
During my initial days of software training, some of my Bengali friends encouraged me to have non-vegetarian food. On their insistence, I did have a bit of chicken rice, but eventually I was convinced that I do not need to eat non-veg, just for the sake of other's pleasure or amusement. I really didn't think, I required it, and even if it contained healthy nutrients, I cannot bear to kill any living being for my own existence.

Once I had got the chance to attend a last rites of my Manager's father, who was Jain. I was impressed by Jain religion since then. The Jain religion advocates non-violence in all activities, whether it be one's thoughts, words, or actions. I was open to adopting Jainism as a faith.


How my life changed after my marriage!


The day after my marriage was a new one.
I found a new faith, a new religion, new beliefs awaiting me.
I had a new approach to life, and I liked it.

As our family , my father worked all throughout his life serving at different places, and we were not close to our relatives.

To have relatives, around me behaving so nicely and taking so much care was such a nice feeling.
Slowly, I got used to the new culture and practices.
My nephews and nieces calling me Chachi ji was the best thing to hear.

In one day, i felt so grown up, so much respected and admired.
It is indeed such a big change, in India, after a girl's marriage. She is identified in local area as so and so's wife.
Through him I lived my ambition of becoming a doctor, had insights of what a doctor is in Indian society and how much respect doctors command, in general.
I got to see the lives of doctors in hospital, how tough it was, the pros and cons of being a doctor and how many sacrifices one might need to make in personal life, being a doctor.



I wanted to let go of old beliefs that had no seemingly known purpose and adopt new ideology.
Though we had differences, I was so happy to be with him.

It was a very sad day when he had gone to pick up a patient from Patna for advanced medical treatment, when the private aircraft carrying almost four people crashed, and he met with an untimely demise. It was the fifth year of our marriage and a void still remains in my life. Even though he is no more, I can feel his presence in our children, I want to give them the best education and good character, be optimistic about life, be helpful and capable persons and achieve success and fame in their lives.